Welp, guess he’s not dead after all.
American gerontocracy.
The only vegetable in America that hasn’t been recalled.
One of two things are happening here:
Or
Someone paint ACME on his chair and wait for falling boulders.
Rigor mortis is the only thing that keeps him sitting up.
he is a lich, lindsey’s soul only half-reanimated his body.
Some one brought something up when I shared to discord;
he’s a millionaire, why is he riding around in a Travel Wheelchair? (cheapest, least comfortable option, usually only used when travelling for the fact that it can be collapsed quite small for car journeys)
Because accessibility is DEI.
/s
Or just cut the middleman and make sure he is 🤷♂️
One of the worst Americans in the history of this country. Hopefully he doesn’t last much longer.
He’s a Chucky Cheese animatronic.
How long can they move him around before the wire implants degrade?
He heard a vote about paid sick leave was presented, and so had to come in and vote against.
Death, are you sure you don’t need glasses?
Fuck it mate, we’ll pay for your lasik if you want.
Somehow, Mitch McConnell returned
Dang, I only spotted your comment after posting the same joke. Here, have an upvote instead.
Tbh I was really surprised I didn’t see this particular joke when I posted it
Is it a joke? No one truly expected Mitch McConnell to return
Sure, but this specific combination of words was selected to mirror the same phrase spoken by Poe in Rise of Skywalker.
The joke is that, like J. J. Abrams, the authors of our timeline are out of ideas and just reuse existing villains instead of creating new interesting ones.
Reporters and photographers were told by Senate staff not to take video of his remarks in the second-floor hallway, even though video is often permitted in that area. Still images were allowed.
From the AP article
Something is fucked for sure with this and they are all covering it up
Video would make his unresponsive condition apparent.
He’s being kept alive.
Is he being “weekend at berinied”?
weekend at MITCH, backstory, his wife chao went to China with his phylactery in order to use lindsey graham’s soul to reanimate the lich.
It’s unfortunate that Jack Burton wasn’t able to finish Mitch off like he did with Lo Pan, but at least he was still successful in saving an innocent jade-eyed lady.
They took only three months to finalize the clone? I’m impressed!
