I’m not buying into techno evangelism. I’m saying that given a choice between a good faith effort to match users with compatible dates, and something else that will make money, they will almost always choose to make money. You can have success on the apps, but they’re not trying to get that success rate very high.
Furthermore, many problems people face in dating are present with or without apps. The behavioral and emotional provlems you allude to, I expect.
people match people. people chat, people go on the dates.
all the company does is allow you to create a profile and look at other profiles. the provide a platform.
your success on the app is a product of your attractiveness. most people aren’t attractive and their standards are way too high, so they fail. but that is their choice, not the dating apps.
nobody is getting matches or going on dates without their direct personal efforts. the companies do not do that for anyone. the issue is that people are lazy and entitled and won’t settle for realistic options. and that has nothing to do with apps, really. plenty of people had that attitude before apps existed, it’s just apps make them feel like should be able to find a perfect person when no such person exists.
and that is the paradox of choice. when you are presented to 1000s of options, you feel any one choice you make is not great. but if you are presented with 5 options, you are a lot more confident and attached to your choice was a good one.
all apps really do is exaggerating existing cognitive and emotional biases people already have, but the problem lies with the person holding that belief.
Saying “the apps don’t match people” and “the apps provide a platform [for matching]” is I guess technically true but disingenuous. You could say, like, libraries don’t give you books. You have to go and check it out yourself. Yeah, kind of, but people go there with a purpose the platform is (nominally) intended to fulfill.
your success on the app is a product of your attractiveness
I don’t know if that’s really true. I’m middling attractive and had a lot of success. There are a lot of factors.
I don’t think the sweeping generalizations about people are really helpful. Is this making you happy? Are you doing okay in your dating life?
the librarian isn’t picking the books for you dude. you can also go to other libraries. you have choices. nobody is forcing you to do anything.
your attractiveness is more than your looks, it’s more about your relative social status and your dating pool’s expectations. everyone who claims they ‘arent’ attractive but do well’ is usually extremely attractive. They live in a bubble.
I do well on apps. I’m classically handsome and I have a Harvard degree. But I don’t find people on apps, or IRL to be worth my time anymore. My patience for listening to people whine about how dissatisfied their lives are ended in 30s. When I date now it’s mostly them complaining, then me talking about how happy I am with my life, and them thinking I’m a huge asshole for not having ‘empathy’ for their struggles of not being able afford first class plane tickets on every vacation.
I’m not buying into techno evangelism. I’m saying that given a choice between a good faith effort to match users with compatible dates, and something else that will make money, they will almost always choose to make money. You can have success on the apps, but they’re not trying to get that success rate very high.
Furthermore, many problems people face in dating are present with or without apps. The behavioral and emotional provlems you allude to, I expect.
the apps don’t match people.
people match people. people chat, people go on the dates.
all the company does is allow you to create a profile and look at other profiles. the provide a platform.
your success on the app is a product of your attractiveness. most people aren’t attractive and their standards are way too high, so they fail. but that is their choice, not the dating apps.
nobody is getting matches or going on dates without their direct personal efforts. the companies do not do that for anyone. the issue is that people are lazy and entitled and won’t settle for realistic options. and that has nothing to do with apps, really. plenty of people had that attitude before apps existed, it’s just apps make them feel like should be able to find a perfect person when no such person exists.
and that is the paradox of choice. when you are presented to 1000s of options, you feel any one choice you make is not great. but if you are presented with 5 options, you are a lot more confident and attached to your choice was a good one.
all apps really do is exaggerating existing cognitive and emotional biases people already have, but the problem lies with the person holding that belief.
Saying “the apps don’t match people” and “the apps provide a platform [for matching]” is I guess technically true but disingenuous. You could say, like, libraries don’t give you books. You have to go and check it out yourself. Yeah, kind of, but people go there with a purpose the platform is (nominally) intended to fulfill.
I don’t know if that’s really true. I’m middling attractive and had a lot of success. There are a lot of factors.
I don’t think the sweeping generalizations about people are really helpful. Is this making you happy? Are you doing okay in your dating life?
I feel like we’ve had this conversation before.
the librarian isn’t picking the books for you dude. you can also go to other libraries. you have choices. nobody is forcing you to do anything.
your attractiveness is more than your looks, it’s more about your relative social status and your dating pool’s expectations. everyone who claims they ‘arent’ attractive but do well’ is usually extremely attractive. They live in a bubble.
I do well on apps. I’m classically handsome and I have a Harvard degree. But I don’t find people on apps, or IRL to be worth my time anymore. My patience for listening to people whine about how dissatisfied their lives are ended in 30s. When I date now it’s mostly them complaining, then me talking about how happy I am with my life, and them thinking I’m a huge asshole for not having ‘empathy’ for their struggles of not being able afford first class plane tickets on every vacation.
You can go to other platforms, so I’m not sure what this is a rebuttal of.
I mean… if you behave in person like you do here, you might be coming off as not very fun
You’re talking with a massive troll. Just look at the comment history.
Yeah, that’s one that I didn’t even need to tag as an asshole because I already recognize the username so easily.
He’s like SMCF but less entertaining and seems to actually believe in his own bullshit.