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Cake day: March 31st, 2025

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  • Young Adult Dystopian literature, imo, is really under-respected. It captures realities of politics and power in a way that is understandable and relatable to even people with only partially developed minds, and simultaneously it depicts those realities in a way that is often more accurate to reality than the more subtle “adult” approaches. Reality ain’t always subtle or complicated. In fact, it’s often such a repetitive tune that anyone who really cares to listen to the music is driven nuts by it and wishes it would play a different melody for once. Novelty is a lot more necessary to make entertaining media, but reality has no obligation to be entertaining. Ultimately, I think YA fiction is often great “by accident”. In being a product for developing minds who are only hearing the endless hymn of humanity now for the first time in their life, it is able to be entertaining without requiring creativity on behalf of the producers - in the same way that gimmicky toys that sold well 50 (or even 500) years ago can still sell well today: there’s a child born every minute who hasn’t seen the gimmick yet and isn’t old enough to be tired of it. But in the case of YA fiction, the exploitation of this dynamic actually frees authors from the constraint of catering to so-called refined tastes that demand things like subtlety, nuance, creativity, unwillingness to rehash the same old ideas, and so so on. These tastes are really just demands for more stimulating entertainment. As a result, YA lit may not be very entertaining to the perceptive adult reader, but by shedding this need for “lowly” entertainment it can ironically begin to function more like “true art”, or at least one flavor of true art: holding up an undistorted mirror to the world regardless of whether you find the reflection entertaining to look at.








  • You are still conflating “I would like it if I could make my partner orgasm with my bare hands” and “why won’t my partner orgasm the way I want to” as beliefs that must always go together. But it is totally possible to simultaneously believe and act on all the following:

    1. How can I pleasure my partner more?
    2. I love making my partner cum with the vibrator
    3. I don’t expect my partner to cum the way I want them to
    4. I would like it if I could make my partner orgasm in more ways than they currently do (i.e with my bare hands rather than a vibrator)

    Isn’t it? At least, I see no reason for mutual exclusivity of these


  • For sure for sure. I hope that my agreement with this sentiment was clear in my post. But there’s nothing about that sentiment that precludes someone from also reasonably wishing that they could bring their partner to orgasm without non-organic, non-self implements.

    I’m saying, people shouldn’t be averse to using the vibrator - but just because they shouldn’t be averse to it doesn’t mean that it’s bad, dumb, or unreasonable to also wish to not always use the vibrator to orgasm or to have your partner orgasm.

    The fact that its impractical doesn’t make it a shameful desire that should be eradicated. Some people wish their partner would fill them up with like, 4 cups of semen. That’s unrealistic (impossible). If they say “I don’t want to fuck you because you never produce 4 cups of semen like how I’d prefer”, then that is stupid and bad behavior, just like not making your partner orgasm with a vibrator just because you wish they didn’t need it is stupid and bad. But the wishing in itself should not be condemned.

    I think the assumption that just because the wish exists, anger also exists is part of the problem that leads to condemnation of the wish. “And if you feel that not being able to make your partner cum the way you want to is a problem? Grow the fuck up.” - absolutely true, but just because someone wants their partner to cum in a different way than they actually do, doesn’t mean they see it as a problem. It may just be a desire or fantasy. Additionally, if that desire is central to their own sexual satisfaction, it doesn’t seem too unreasonable to say that that’s not wrong of them but rather an irreconcilable sexual difference. If someone really likes fingerbanging girls, but their girl hates it, that’s not a situation where either of them is in the wrong or needs to change what they’re attracted to - it’s just an incompatibility.


  • While I agree that feeling EMASCULATED by a vibrator is ridiculous, as men are not meant to have vibrating functionality, I think just as many women would feel just as bummed out by it if men did a similar thing. Imagine if a man only got like half of the way there fucking you, then pulled out and was like “oh quick get that super tight fleshlight out so I can cum”. Is it really so hard to understand why that might feel bad? Like sure, this fleshlight thing may be tighter than any biological vagina ever could be, but does that really make it not bother you? And even if it doesn’t bother you, wouldn’t it be nice if that wasn’t always necessary?

    Because although penises aren’t meant to vibrate, and vaginas aren’t meant to squeeze like a tight fist, penises ARE “supposed” to please vaginas and vice versa, and if the literal climax of pleasure is not attainable by those means, why are we acting like that’s a silly thing to wish was different?

    Don’t all people, regardless of their own sex or gender, or the gender of their partner, enjoy the idea of bringing their partner to orgasm using their own body and not a device? I have made my girlfriend orgasm manually, orally, penetratively, and with vibrators. They’re all fun ways to do it! But if we could only do it with a vibrator, I’d certainly be wishing we could get there other ways too. Is that really so silly? Each method has its own charms. So it seems very insensitive to put down these feelings, and it’s also gross to do it with a sports metaphor.



  • mfed1122@discuss.tchncs.detoScience Memes@mander.xyzGoals.
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    2 months ago

    This is a great example in support of something I often think about. We see our consciousness as “me” and as “the thing in charge” of the body, but really it’s more of an ancillary subprocess that the body runs for its own benefit. It’s just a special subprocess that does its job best when it mistakenly thinks of itself as being the boss of the body.


  • I think the problem is that certain views are much stronger indicators of someone being willing to eventually shove their views down your throat. If I was a big corporation shopping for, say, spam filter software, I’d rather sign a 3 year contract with a regular company than, for example, a company that is openly fundamentalist Christians. Why? Because the Christians are much more likely to start randomly making ridiculous changes that only make sense to other Christians, like spam filtering out anything with the word “Allah”, etc. They may not do that now, but I need to look further than just right now because I don’t want to get locked in to an ecosystem that is going to turn sour. Sure I can always switch, but why not just choose the one that has less risk of that at the onset?

    Now some beliefs that I disagree with are less like this than others. For instance if the devs disagreed with me about their favorite movies, I’m not going to take that into consideration, because that’s not the sort of thing or the sort of person who is likely to abuse their power to aid that cause. But transphobia? That is exactly the sort of thing that someone, as has been proven many times now, will sit on and downplay until they are given power and influence to act on it. Using their software contributes to their influence, especially in the browser world.

    Lastly, all other things equal, I’d rather use the product of a smart team full of smart people, than a dumb team full of dumb people. Transphobia is a dumb belief to have, it is a result of being unintelligent. Many smart people (and let’s be honest, especially developers) won’t want to work with someone like that. Whether you think that’s reasonable or not, it’s hard to deny. It’s certainly hard to picture any great trans developers wanting to contribute. So a lot of things add up, especially when looking a few links down the causal chain, to make it more than just a matter of whether they believe differently than I do.