YEADON, Pa. – A Pennsylvania man is facing more than 500 charges after investigators say they discovered more than 100 human skeletal remains in his home.
Authorities said 34-year-old Jonathan Gerlach broke into mausoleums and gravesites multiple times at Mt. Moriah Cemetery in Yeadon, Pa. since Halloween.
I hereby donate my body to freaky shit upon the primary condition that it is funny as all fuck.
If medical science wants my cadaver for training purposes, my will has a clause that they must also use me in the same school’s theatre group as a comedy prop, manequin, puppet or ventrilloquist dummy. Limit one Hamlet a year. Unlimited stand up. Mannequin wearing school colours in the campus bookstore is also acceptable as a default resting place in between better uses as long as I am wearing classic Ray-Bans.
If some big tiddied goth girls or cultists wanna commune with the dead, conjure demons in profane rites or perform weird sex acts, I approve but the school colours and Ray-Ban rules still apply in perpetuity.
You drive a hard bargain. OK if the 'Bans aren’t exactly new? Flexible on tiddie dimensions?
Very.