As a journalist who has covered internet culture for a long time, I’ve seen enough hand-drawn images of Sonic the Hedgehog showing feet and pregnant Barack Obama

Either you’re the wrong person for the job, or please say what you really saw.

“She’s a brick and I’m drowning slowly”

“Never trust an Italian, folks, that’s what I say… ever see the Sopranos? I knew Tony Soprano. Well, not personally, but we were in the same circles. Big man, strong man, he came to me, tears in his eyes…”

which comes with higher speeds and more frequent lane changes

Go kiss a concrete pillar, ya duds

Good ol Johnny Moderate with a bipartisan solution slithering in with a spine of jello

Take me down to hot eel city

Where the grass is green

And the girls are wiggly

the Hatch Act is only as effective as the White House decides it will be

Lovely

The big one though? Air traffic controllers. When politicians can’t fly, shit gets sorted quick.

Do it bawitdaba tho

Kicking out a bunch of imperialists by handing them their asses is pretty woke, now that you mention it. Oh wait, not like that?

Also:

Forty percent of respondents believe congressional Democrats’ position is not worth having a shutdown over, while 28% believe it’s worth it, according to the poll. And 45% of respondents believe congressional Republicans’ position is not worth having a shutdown over, while 23% believe it’s worth it.

So nobody polled really wants this nor do they think it’s worth it. Cool.

On his file

Bold of you to assume they are literate

Launch the Brown October

“Incredibly dumb” isn’t even the lowest bar they need to clear with the ol’ 6-3

“Canada confirms it WAS the vaccines all along!”