“I’m not dead!”

Best blooper reel ever.

“Oh god! I’m stuck on a glacier with McGuyver!”

Sounds like a bit of Mark Twain…

Next, in another cage I confined an Irish Catholic from Tipperary, and as soon as he seemed tame I added a Scotch Presbyterian from Aberdeen. Next a Turk from Constantinople; a Greek Christian from Crete; an Armenian; a Methodist from the wilds of Arkansaw; a Bhuddist from China; a Brahmin from Benares. Finally, a Salvation Army Colonel from Wapping. Then I stayed away two whole days. When I came back to note results, the cage of Higher Animals was all right, but in the other there was but a chaos of gory odds and ends of turbans and fezzes and plaids and bones and flesh—not a specimen left alive. These Reasoning Animals had disagreed on a theological detail and carried the matter to a Higher Court.

Systemd will do this. Iirc you just need to put the mount info in fstab.

https://unix.stackexchange.com/questions/765065/how-to-auto-mount-cifs-share-if-the-server-is-only-ready-later

Or 5 NAND pointers.

I just use ~/.ssh/config

e.g.

Host website
    Hostname some.hostname.foo
    User bob
    Port 1500