N.E.P.T.R

For setting up and selecting Piper TTS voices, use Pied. Then use KMouth by KDE to have an app to paste text in an make use of Piper TTS voices.

That plus KMouth would be exactly what OP wants. KMouth is an app you can paste text in and have speechd play it.

Mullvad has many methods of obscuring the fact that you are sending VPN traffic, specifically designed to fight VPN censorship and firewalls.

Matrix with either Element or Fluffychat

You can think yhat Wayland adoption was artificial, bit X.Org is unmaintained software and no developers are picking up reigns of X11. X is dead.

Even worse, “gross lil critters”

Officially from the Tor Project there is also oniux. From the blog, “a small command-line utility providing Tor network isolation for third-party applications using Linux namespaces”.