OpenWRT

My tplink archer has been running it for 5 years or more without issue*

*excluding human errors

Hint: it’s a rock leopard

You can pirate Spotify directly.

On desktop I use Spicetify, it simply removes all ads (among other things)
Are you referring to an Android app? Last time I checked it had stopped working, I should check again.
For downloading there’s deemix also

I rarely listen to a whole album nowadays.
Pretty much since streaming music has been made easy I’ve seen people make playlists of thousands of artists. I don’t see how you can easily achieve this by pirating or buying the albums.
Making playlists on youtube I guess, but it’s not nearly as polished an experience.
There was Spotube that did a very commandable job at making a Spotify-like UI for that, but it was still way jankier than using the real thing. And it stopped working (might be back up)

I’m not trying to be a contrarian, but I see comments saying there are good alternatives all the time and I have yet to find one

I’ve stopped paying for Spotify years ago, switching between Tidal/Deezer/Qobuz a few times, but I still use it on my PC (spicetify…) It’s what I want from a desktop client. And the “discover weekly” feature recommends me great music. Using youtube really doesn’t cut it (also it’s getting increasingly difficult to use)

I remember a scene in the (good) show Louie when Louis CK criticized trump in a trump casino (he’s often the morally superior guy in his show)

Won’t happen there