has you roll a climbing check for each step of the stairs individually
every spell is as useful as “You can summon a cat. It’s just a regular cat and it will probably wander off. The spell takes 12 days and costs 11 million gold pieces.”
You want a fantasy world with wizards, demons, and gods
You want all of those to be strictly above your character’s pay grade
You regularly buy the publisher’s fake in-world newspaper to keep up with the events of a decades-long play-by-mail campaign that defines the hyper-detailed canon lore for part of the game world
You have opinions on this play-by-mail campaign despite never even having met any of its players
The Dark Eye (3rd edition)
You like randomness and yoloing your way through character creation, concept be damned. You play video games on ironman mode and think failing spectacularly is hilarious
Alternatively you like starting over and over until your stats allow you to pick your preferred character class. You obsessively save-scum in every video game
You’re definitely German
The Dark Eye (4th edition)
You play EVE Online but think it could do with more bookkeeping
Excel is your favorite piece of software
You think the correct amount of complexity in a game is “more”
You always wanted to play GURPS but none of your friends want to
You’ve yet to finish character creation but don’t want to start over just because a new edition has come out
The Dark Eye (5th edition)
You just want to play a game, not get a degree in accounting
You hate Excel
You want a moderate amount of crunch but aren’t sure how to define “moderate”
You always wanted to play a World of Darkness game but none of your friends want to
Now do
The Dark Eye
The bullet points are supposed to describe the players not the game.
I am not bound by your rules.
I just want to make fun of TDE.
The Dark Eye
The Dark Eye (in general)
The Dark Eye (3rd edition)
The Dark Eye (4th edition)
The Dark Eye (5th edition)
chef’s kiss
7 th Sea: