Let me put it this way:

I’ve put a significant amount of thought into trying to figure out why I have the opinions and stances on certain parts of linguistics that I do.

… I ultimately failed at coming up with a model of this that was both wholly coherent and comprehendable to myself.

So at this point I’m just going with ‘i am strange in a way that kind of makes sense to me, kind of doesn’t, and i guess that is what you call a personality, or something like that.’