Objectification, hate, rape threats: the politicians debating online abuse mean well, but to truly understand, they need to see what I see

  • daannii@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    I have a small tight group of guys and gals I occasionally play online games with and I seldom play games where I’m matched up with strangers. It’s not worth it.

    As soon as they hear you are a chick… Most usually start with the low hanging fruit “You fat and ugly”

    Although one time some guy kept saying I was probably old. Like 40. With 2 kids. I thought that was slightly more creative. But still basic.

    I am 40 actually. But I don’t have kids and told him No crotch goblins for me. They might end up like him.

    Then told him I could tell he was nervous cause his voice was shakey. Asked him if this was his first time talking to a female.

    Then I blocked him and left the game so he couldnt do any come back.

    • Kissaki@feddit.org
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      1 day ago

      It’s really sad how prevalent it is.

      I think it depends a lot on the games, communities, and moderation, though.

      In my games, at least, I wouldn’t say I see much toxicity, even when it can feel different because of its impact. When I do see toxicity, I consistently report and block.

      In all my years, I think I can count misogyny in my games (towards others I overhear) on one hand. Which, of course, doesn’t invalidate those who have different experiences. Many women choose not to talk at all because of these issues, which makes it less likely for other people to experience and see such occurrences.

      I find more recent developments interesting where people can change their voice to male and female, which allows people to talk with their voice, but not be identifiable as one or the other. Hopefully it can enable people and make them more comfortable.

      • daannii@lemmy.world
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        16 hours ago

        Ive also encountered misogynist comments directed at male friends who play games with me.

        On a few occasions I’ve had my best guy pal I play with be bombarded with comments about how he’s a simp if he helps me in any way in the game.

        I told this guy friend I was mad for him. He said he just ignores it but. It’s pretty shitty.

        Being cooperative doesn’t make him a simp. We like playing games together cause we have a fun dynamic. I kinda hated that other men were trying to make him feel bad about it.

        Mysoginist men really try to enforce other men to bend to their rules just as much as they harass women.