Lol, yeah, that’s a great point.

It probably would have helped. Honestly, someone needs to get all of the world leaders tripping balls in one place. I, for one, would welcome a shaman-led society.

I’d pay good money to watch someone fuck that little meat piggy Dana White in front of the White House. You know the yard would stink like poop and prosciutto.

I imagine having a taught piece of paper firmly pulled out of your gullet also feels great as a printer. Or it feels terrible, like pulling a swallowed hook out of a fish.

Church crowd is pretty awful in the grocery industry, too. It was especially bad at my previous store, which was in a deeply evangelical town in Central Alberta. All would be quiet on Sunday until about noon. Then the floodgates would open to the most high-on-their-own-farts religious degenerates. Nobody talked down to you quite like a middle-aged woman in church clothes. And they would plug up all the aisles talking scripture and shit. Fuck, I hated that town.

I can smell that thumbnail. I can smell her good.

Junimos ain’t fixin’ that one, brother…

I don’t know if this will age like my previous belief that PS1 had photo-realistic graphics, but I feel like 4k is the peak for TVs. I recently bought a 65" 4k TV and not only is it the clearest image I’ve ever seen, but it takes up a good chunk of my livingroom. Any larger would just look ridiculous.

Unless the average person starts using abandoned cathedrals as their livingrooms, I don’t see how larger TVs with even higher definition would even be practical. Especially if you consider we already have 8k for those who do use cathedral entertainment systems.

Holy fuck, I just looked up the record. Not what I was expecting at all. It looks like one of those 700 lb. people who can’t roll off of their futon. Even the underside is shockingly similar.

I wish I could partake in nap culture, but I always wake up feeling like I’ve been ripped from the goddamn afterlife. Always worse than before. My wife and I just spent two grueling sleepless nights in the postpartum ward, and after returning home today she encouraged me to have a 1-hour nap. I obliged and woke up so fucking brain-sick out of sorts that I could barely interact with my surroundings for the first 30 minutes.

Don’t mind if I do!

Those are valid observations. My bet is on a juvenile Great Blue Heron.

Damn… Sandhill Cranes and corn fields really bring me 2,000 miles back home.

(On closer inspection, that may actually be a heron. Can we get a ruling on this one?)

Well, I honestly can’t say that’s any more delusional than claiming to be a spiritually attuned being who answers the war cries of the Republican party. I’ve never seen a shaman more in need of a mushroom trip.

Sweet. Someone kill Charlie Kirk again just to piss him off even more.

You have to really lean in on the words to properly express your italicized voice. You almost have to sound like an asshole. Like a somewhat sarcastic asshole…

Immigration Canada: “Prove to us that your marriage is genuine. Prove that it wasn’t for immigration purposes.”

My wife and I: “You sure you want that?”

Immigration Canada: “Make with the proof.”

My wife and I: 400 pages, front and back, of Skype call logs/timestamps. A fucking literal ream of paper